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Billy-Bob I of Petland

Born: 2061 as Billy-Bob Nelson of Kentucky.

Family: One son, Skywalker ? (b. 2083) with his first (brief and hopefully last) wife Conzuela Miranda de la Cruz, a former princess Leia look-alike. Conzuela left Billy-Bob soon after the birth of Skywalker and left her son behind to grow up as the rightful heir of Petland. Conzuela has since had a sex change and is currently living on the island of Transatlantis in No Man's Land as Rico Fantastico.

Early life: Billy-Bob I of Petland began his days as Billy-Bob Nelson of Kentucky. He grew up on a farm and his father wanted him to become a farmer like generations of Billy-Bobs before him. This Billy-Bob, however, lifted his gaze from the dark soil and aimed for the stars. The stars of The Kentucky Honky Tonk Roadshow, that is. He fell in love with a certain Miss Twinkle, who let him tag along to Nashville.

In Nashville, Billy-Bob was cruelly dumped by Miss Twinkle for one of the other chorus girls and he found concolation in his long time hobby: encrypting. Well, it wasn’t encrypting per se. It was a local Kentucky dialect, but no-one understood it, so he made himself a fortune. He took the money he had earned and bought a yacht. Unfortunately, Billy-Bob was just as bad a sailor as he was a farmer. So, somewhere in The Pacific, he sailed straight into a massive pile of rubbish and capsized. He spent four months on a pile of PET bottles and got so fond of them, he decided to build an island out of them and make it his home and kingdom.

Career: Well, going from being Kentucky's worst farmer to become a king is some sort of career move, isn’t it?

Misc: King Billy-Bob likes to sport his strut in way too small Speedos and a pair of sun faded, pink flip-flops.